What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence is violence or other abuse that occurs in a domestic setting, such as in a marriage or intimate partnership. It is often called intimate partner violence. The abuse is committed by one person in the relationship against the other person and can take place in current relationships or between former spouses or partners.

Domestic violence is also referred to as domestic terrorism.

In its broadest sense, domestic violence also involves violence against children, parents, or the elderly. When violence against other members of the family, rather than abuse directed solely against a partner occurs, it is most often given the title of family violence.

Family violence can assume multiple forms, including physical, verbal, emotional, economic, religious, reproductive or financial abuse, or sexual abuse. It can range from subtle, coercive forms to marital rape and other violent physical abuse, such as choking, beating, female genital mutilation and acid throwing that may result in disfigurement or death.

Domestic and family violence includes the use of technology to harass, control, monitor, stalk or hack. Technology-facilitated abuse is one of the quickest-growing forms of abuse against victims with some saying that perpetrators using this form of abuse outnumber those who don’t employ technology for nefarious purposes.

Domestic murder includes stoning, bride burning, honour killing and dowry death which sometimes involves non-cohabitating family members. Not enough focus is directed at the violence that occurs within diverse cultures and demographics where English is a second language. As our migrant population in Australia grows, we need to consider domestic murders of women beyond murders of women of Anglo-Saxon appearance. The latter cohort’s murders often gain media attention above other homicides.

Important factors in addressing domestic violence

Defining and understanding domestic violence is just the beginning. Knowing what to do to reduce the incidence of domestic violence stems from the understanding.

Awareness: recognising what partner abuse looks like and acknowledging that family violence is not something that happens to others; it may be happening in your own family. Awareness of domestic violence may involve educating the community about different types of domestic violence, participating in organisations that campaign against domestic violence, and speaking out against acts of violence. Awareness of domestic violence also aims to alert survivors to the options and resources that are available to them.

Awareness also arises from a willingness to listen openly to victims who publicly disclose their lived experience of partner abuse and to believe those who speak of abuse within the listener’s family.

Accountability: Perpetrator accountability in the context of domestic violence refers to framing the issue as fundamentally a problem of perpetration. It means scrutinizing and questioning the behaviour of the perpetrator – not only by systems and institutions but also by friends, family, peers, employers and community members. Even in the present with much attention on domestic and family violence, society tends to focus on the victim – what they may have been doing to incite abuse, how they can stay safe, other mitigating factors that concentrate on a victim’s actions rather than a perpetrator’s behaviour.

Key points related to perpetrator accountability

Understanding accountability: Accountability is often emphasised as a crucial goal in policies designed to reduce domestic and family violence. However, it can take different forms and may not always align. For instance, legal processes focus on accountability to the state, not necessarily to the victim, and holding perpetrators accountable in court may not fully acknowledge the impact of violence on the victim or promote her safety.

Personal responsibility for violence may be compromised when the court holds the perpetrator accountable. This means punitive measures imposed by the court may mean incarceration for the abuser however little is done to address the drivers of domestic violence. The perpetrator once released from confinement having had no rehabilitation may seek revenge on the victim for, as the abuser sees it, having sole responsibility for the penalty incurred.

Perpetrator intervention systems

A wide range of human services agencies engage with perpetrators of domestic violence. However, these agencies may not always identify individuals as perpetrators or know how to respond appropriately.

Broadening the idea of perpetrator intervention systems can enhance the capacity to identify perpetrators and manage risk earlier. Men’s behaviour programs that concentrate on an abuser’s inflated sense of entitlement and need for power and control in a relationship form an important part of that perpetrator intervention. I believe such programs should be regulated and have a national standard.

Exclusion from family home

Men who are excluded from the family home due to police or court orders need access to crisis accommodation. Without such accommodation, they may face homelessness, making it harder to access services and potentially escalating their risk of using violence.

Holistic approach

Accountable responses prioritise the safety of women and children while holding men responsible for their violence. Consistent and constant messages that violence is never justifiable or excusable reinforce accountability.

Addressing domestic violence requires a multifaceted approach that considers both victim safety and perpetrator accountability.

Support services include:

Police 000 (in case of emergency)

1800RESPECT: a national telephone and online counselling and referral service. Phone: 1800 737 732.

Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1800 800 098 for crisis counselling, support and referral to safe accommodation.

MensLine Australia (Changing for Good): 1300 789 978. Domestic violence helpline, provides telephone information and referrals for men who are concerned about their violent and abusive behaviours.


Deborah Thomson moved to Tasmania with her daughter in 2010, and now lives with her partner of nine years and a parrot. She moved to escape domestic violence and, inspired by her new partner, wrote her first book, Whose Life Is It Anyway? Recognising and Surviving Domestic Violence, to help others recognise abuse (and in particular coercive control), in the home, and to increase their motivation to leave earlier. After publishing her first book, she became a trained advocate through Engender Equality, a non-government Tasmanian organisation working with people and communities impacted by family violence. Deborah Thomson advocates for survivors of family violence, speaking at domestic violence events across Tasmania, through media channels and podcasts. She recently completed a second book, detailing lived experience with domestic violence by her then husband, spanning 17 years from 1985 to 2003. This book is now used in Tasmania as an information resource for family violence counsellors and students on practicals.

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