Home truths about pornography

There are pornography posts online where young women promote non-fatal strangulation as part of sexual relations. Videos show these women performing non-fatal strangulation on their partner or having it done to them while exhibiting enjoyment and arousal during the act. These depictions are not representative of mainstream intimacy between consenting adults and should not be promoted as normal or fun behaviour.


Does viewing online pornography contribute to the heightened violence we are seeing in society against men, women and children? Yes.

The above question and answer apply nationally. And Tasmanians are not immune to the negative effects of online pornography consumption. Pornography is easy to find on the internet. It is not regulated despite, in the main, being unrealistic. Yet pornographic acts found online are increasingly touted as behaviour to aspire to.

Do such acts show what sex and romantic relationships are really like? No.

However, many, including young men who may not have had a lot of experience sexually, replicate what they see on pornography sites. They believe that sexual acts shown regularly in online pornography are what sex should look like in reality.

Viewers need to employ critical thinking before accepting what they see online as acceptable behaviour in real life.

Abuse against women is a major problem in the pornography industry. Much of what is viewed is violent content with women submitting to abusive and damaging acts. Female performers are called sluts and whores and are not shown negotiating or giving consent to the acts depicted online. The result is the suggestion that such acts are common in mainstream society.

A consequence of pornography depicting humiliation and subjugation of a female is the increasing incidence of strangulation during the act of sex in real life. There are posts online where young women promote non-fatal strangulation as part of sexual relations. Videos show these women performing strangulation on their partner or having it done to them while exhibiting enjoyment and arousal during the act. These depictions are not representative of mainstream intimacy between consenting adults and should not be promoted as normal or fun behaviour.

The act of non-fatal strangulation during sex is dangerous and the potential for damage to the throat and brain is real. It is difficult to predict, and it can be difficult to detect initially. It is damaging, nonetheless. I speak from lived experience.

Depictions of sexualised behaviour between children is also rising. Research shows children as young as 12 are viewing pornography online, and what they view is colouring their behaviour in real life.

There is a direct correlation between online pornography and behavioural patterns reflecting it, which is why the office of the Australian eSafety Commissioner is considering a ban for younger people to social media.

Online pornography is primarily for a male audience and has a narrow idea of what sex looks like. You have a personal choice to watch online pornography, but it’s worth considering a paid subscription to ethical porn sites and sites produced by women focusing on authentic, real-world depictions of pleasure made legally and celebrating sexual diversity. Such sites usually require payment to view but increase the likelihood that the pornography depicted is ethical, and participants making the content are paid for their work.

Any pornography online should be produced with the consent of participants. This is not always the case.

Can sexual objectification of women ever be ethical? It can, and it is where pornography sites properly pay their actors for the content produced, the performer creating the entertainment has consented to the acts they are directed to perform, this consent made known to the viewer.

. . .

The proliferation of pornography, particularly that which shows physical aggression, is linked to issues including harm to performers and increased abuse of women in intimate relationships. This is a serious problem in our society.

Pornography does not, in and of itself, create or cause this problem. But the high rates of violence and aggression, often glamorised and eroticised, contribute to the wider problem.

As mentioned, children are displaying sexualised behaviour at a younger age, so it is worth revisiting the age of consent for sexual relations between younger age groups. In Tasmania, the age of consent is 17. It is 18 for those in a position of responsibility, such as a teacher.

The problem arises when those younger than the age of consent watching online pornography and consequently believe that consent is not required for sex, as depicted on some pornography sites; or that it is okay for younger ages to be exposed to sex with another because that is shown online as being acceptable behaviour.

If consent is given through fear, coercion or intimidation, IT IS NOT CONSENT.

Another law to note is that you cannot send sexual content, such as nude images, to each other under the age of 18 (there are exceptions in some jurisdictions for consensual sexting for 16 and 17 year-olds – if in doubt regarding the legalities, it is better not to engage in sexting in the first place).

Viewing online pornography has its place and can be a source of comfort and pleasure for some. When sexual activity is consented to, it is respectful and creates a real feeling of connectedness, a thing of beauty. Such activity gives the person a sense of belonging, of meaning something to another and increased warmth and loving feelings.

The essential component is consent.


Deborah Thomson moved to Tasmania with her daughter in 2010, and now lives with her partner of nine years and a parrot. She moved to escape domestic violence and, inspired by her new partner, wrote her first book, Whose Life Is It Anyway? Recognising and Surviving Domestic Violence, to help others recognise abuse (and in particular coercive control), in the home, and to increase their motivation to leave earlier. After publishing her first book, she became a trained advocate through Engender Equality, a non-government Tasmanian organisation working with people and communities impacted by family violence. Deborah Thomson advocates for survivors of family violence, speaking at domestic violence events across Tasmania, through media channels and podcasts. She recently completed a second book, detailing lived experience with domestic violence by her then husband, spanning 17 years from 1985 to 2003. This book is now used in Tasmania as an information resource for family violence counsellors and students on practicals.

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