I am tired of seeing royal commission after royal commission coming up with desired recommendations, then, nothing …
As a woman, I am tired of seeing violence against women and children increasing, not decreasing.
As a victim of abuse, I am tired of bearing the blame for my victimisation with questions directed at me such as why didn’t I leave if it was so bad, and why did I keep silent for so long and not tell anyone about the abuse?
And the question that directs the most blame at the victim: what did I do to make him abuse me?
As a survivor I am tired of seeing royal commission after royal commission coming up with desired recommendations, then, nothing …
The efforts of governments, organisations and the have been not achieved desired effects quickly enough for victims who suffer homicide, homelessness, financial ruin and mental trauma that many don’t recover from.
What will it take until we stop arguing about who’s to blame for domestic and family violence? When will the #notallmen camp quit the defensive attitude and stop naming concerned women who simply state facts about the prevalence of abusers being male, as witches out to get men.
Fact: most victims are women and children.
Fact: most abusers are male. Men abuse women, men abuse children, and men abuse other men.
These facts have been statistically proven; they can’t be disputed. Yet too many do just that and dispute the facts as “fake lies”, staving off discussion that might be helpful for victims. Rather, discussion becomes an unnecessary match between men’s rights groups and victims of abuse, with the men often having the louder voice.
Something I feel hinders significant changes in society surrounding family violence issues is community attitudes towards domestic abuse, perpetrators and victims of abuse. One such attitude that perpetuates family violence is family and friends closing ranks around an abuser, excusing (therefore condoning, essentially) the abusive behaviours. Instead of making the abuser accountable for their actions and urging them to seek help, an abuser’s family and friends tend to blame the victim for the abuse.
If focus was directed more towards the behaviours of the perpetrator and less on what the victim may have done “to make” their partner abusive, we would see societal change with more abusers compelled to seek therapy. Men’s behaviour groups do help if a perpetrator is willing to change and cease controlling their partner.
Another impediment to change, I feel, is the lack of statistics surrounding the true rate of domestic and family violence in this country. We know that any available statistics are underestimating the number of victims since many do not report violence to authorities. How many is anyone’s guess.
A little researching led me to Safe homes, Safe Families Tasmania’s Family Violence Action Plan 2015–2020 (dpac.tas.gov.au) This report is dated November, 2019. Often the statistics available are lagging by several years.
In 2018-19, 269 family violence incidents in Tasmania were classified as high-risk. This represents a 12.6 per cent decrease compared to 2017-18 (303).
In addition, there was a 5.7 per cent increase in the number of police-issued family violence orders in 2018-19 (1,845) compared to 2017-18 (1,746), demonstrating the Tasmanian Government’s commitment to hold perpetrators to account. (Data sourced from the 2018-19 Tasmania Police Corporate Performance Annual Report, available at http://www.police.tas.gov.au.)
Since then, I believe more victims are coming forward to disclose and report abuse, but this puts greater pressure on services lacking funds and resources to adequately support the growing number of victims.
Finding statistics that relate to each region in Tasmania is difficult, and compilation virtually non-existent where more isolated regions are concerned. We do know, however, the number of victims seeking help in Hobart has increased, with a correlating increase in victims being turned away because there are simply not the resources available to accommodate the greater number seeking help.
Quoting from a May, 2022, ABC article by Ellen Coulter, “Between July, 2021 and the end of April, 1,029 women and children sought assistance from Hobart Women's Shelter, with around 800 women and children being turned away. Chief executive Janet Saunders said once women were in the shelter, there were few housing options to move on to. There are no exit points for them, there's no affordable housing, and there's a long wait list for the social housing register."
Saunders said about 48 per cent of the women approaching the shelter needed help because of family violence, and Hobart's housing affordability crisis was also contributing.
Data from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare also showed that in 2020-21, women accounted for 72 per cent of those Tasmanians turned away from specialist homelessness services. "We've had calls from women that are pregnant and they're living in cars with their children," Saunders said.
An updated ABC News article stated that the Hobart Women’s Shelter received 1,182 calls from women and children seeking help last financial year. Unfortunately, 943 of them were turned away1. In the financial year to the end of February 2023, 701 women and children have so far called in need of help. The centre has only been able to accommodate 161 of them1. (Women fleeing violence living on the streets, returning to abusers as shelters turn them away - ABC News )
Similarly, victims who approach Legal Aid or Hobart Women’s Legal service face being turned away with those in crisis being prioritised over others who have been abused yet deemed not in crisis.
Legal services also turning people away
Another crucial part of feeling safe is having legal protection, but the Women's Legal Service Tasmania is having to make the same agonising decisions as the shelters.
"We turn people away too, every day," CEO Yvette Cehtel said. "Unfortunately, we do have to work out — which is a really difficult exercise — who we're able to assist and who we're not.”
As with the other services, Ms Cehtel and her team prioritise those who have nowhere else to go, and no ability to pay other legal professionals.
"It's really difficult for our team to tell people we can't act for them," she said. "We're a service run for by women, for women, and we can't burn out the staff we have in an effort to help everybody. We just can't do it."
. . .
Personal Safety, Australia, 2021-22 financial year | Australian Bureau of Statistics (abs.gov.au) Released 15/03/2023: This release presents summary prevalence statistics from the Australian Bureau of Statistics’ 2021-22 Personal Safety Survey.
The survey collected information from people aged 18 years and over about the nature and extent of their experiences of violence, including detailed information about experiences of physical and sexual violence; violence, emotional abuse, and economic abuse by a cohabiting partner; stalking; sexual harassment; and childhood abuse and witnessing parental violence before the age of 15.
Key statistics
An estimated 8 million Australians (41 per cent) have experienced violence (physical and/or sexual) since the age of 15, including 31 per cent of women and 42 per cent of men who have experienced physical violence (the greater percentage of men is accounted for with inclusion of men abusing men – fewer women abuse their female counterparts), and 22 per cent of women and 6.1 per cent of men who have experienced sexual violence.
Family and domestic violence related sexual assault increased 13 per cent from 2019.
Sexual assault
There were 27,505 victims of sexual assault recorded by police in 2020. This was an increase of 2 per cent (645 victims) from 2019 to the highest number recorded across the 28-year time series.
Accounting for population growth, the sexual assault victimisation rate increased from 69 victims per 100,000 persons in 1993 to 107 victims per 100,000 persons in 2020.
From Recorded Crime - Victims, 2020 | Australian Bureau of Statistics (abs.gov.au)
These statistics make it obvious that too little change in the right direction is happening. Until there is significant and meaningful change, governmentally and societally, we will continue to see crisis situations such as that of victims facing homelessness when they decide to leave an abuser.
Scratch below the surface of the Lucky Country and you will find too many in dire need, and finding no answers to those needs.
Deborah Thomson moved to Tasmania with her daughter in 2010, and now lives with her partner of nine years and a parrot. She moved to escape domestic violence and, inspired by her new partner, wrote her first book, Whose Life Is It Anyway? Recognising and Surviving Domestic Violence, to help others recognise abuse (and in particular coercive control), in the home, and to increase their motivation to leave earlier. After publishing her first book, she became a trained advocate through Engender Equality, a non-government Tasmanian organisation working with people and communities impacted by family violence. Deborah Thomson advocates for survivors of family violence, speaking at domestic violence events across Tasmania, through media channels and podcasts. She recently completed a second book, detailing lived experience with domestic violence by her then husband, spanning 17 years from 1985 to 2003. This book is now used in Tasmania as an information resource for family violence counsellors and students on practicals.